What do you expect?

Last year my mom and I were in the kitchen talking and my six year old niece came running in. She had been watching Spiderman and was jazzed. "Grandma!! I wish I had all of those powers!!" So my mom responded, "Really? And what would you do with all of those powers?" "I would go alllll over the world and gather up all the bad guys and allll the criminals..." I have to pause before continuing. My niece has a very developed notion of justice. Her dad has a criminal past and police have just been a reality in her life. She knows very well that if you do something wrong, there are consequences. Knowing this about her, I had my expectations about what she was going to say. "I would gather them up and send them all to jail." "I would create an island where they would all go to be spanked." I am not sure what exactly I was expecting her to say, but it certainly wasn't what she said. "I would go alll over the world and gather up all the bad guys and I would take them to heaven so that they could meet Jesus and He could teach them how to obey the Father". My mom and I stood there speakless and both a little teary.

How often do we come into God's presence with the expectation of punishment? How often do we avoid going to Him for the way we believe He will receive us? Intellectually, I know of the Father's heart for me. His unconditional love. His acceptance and mercy. Yet it is still a battle to walk in this reality in my daily life. How often do we come before God ashamed, feeling inadequate,feeling disappointing- like we just haven't done enough for him, feeling guilty because of relationship conflicts, feeling like if we could be just a little bit better...

God never intended for us to fear Him. Even after the Fall, we don't see God responding in outrage and rejection. He asked, "Where are you? Why are you hiding?" Upon the confession of their sin, He provided clothes for them. He didn't throw them on the ground at them and wait for them to put them on. God DRESSED them. An act of acceptance and help in spite of their mistake.

Hebrews 4:16 says "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." In the face of our need, God wants us to approach his throne with confidence. In the Greek, that word means, freedom in speech, without hiding or concealment, cheerful courage.

He SEES all of our being and all of our actions, and He loves us. Are you willing to let yourself be seen and accepted by Him? Are you willing to risk showing Him where you feel inadequate, unworthy, ashamed, so that He can love that part of you?

Thanks!

Many of you sent books to my house over the holidays for me to bring back to the base. So far, they have been a hit. I had one girl come up to me just to tell me how much her and her whole small group were being blessed by the book Waking the Dead by John Eldredge. So I wanted to thank those of you who sent the books. They are making an impact here!

Last year Karen and I paid for Jhon David and Keilen to eat at the feeding center for a couple of months. This weekend when I went back, I wanted to pay for Keilen again. Karen warned me to ask if they had been going. It is such an impoverished mentality, that sometimes parents won't even send their children to eat the food someone has paid for and prepared for them. So I asked Jhon David about it.
"Jhon David, did you guys go to the feeding center these past months?"
"YES! AND WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO PAY!"
I tear up just thinking about it. To us, it is a meal that costs about $.08 a day. To him, it was like getting to eat at his favorite restaurant for the year and not having to pay. Isaiah 55 kept coming to mind, "Come all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost."
It is so easy for me to bless him with food. It costs me nothing. Yet it means the world to him. And it really made me meditate this morning on how much God wants to give us. The desires of our heart that seem like our very livelihood. He is so willing to satisfy those needs.

In what area in your life do you feel like the Lord is holding back on you? Where He is just not willing to bless you? Will you allow Him to show you His heart towards you?