Awakening to Desire

Desire is a dangerous thing. Desire opens you up for a whole world of vulnerability, risk, and potential disappointment. Desire will either take you on an adventure of faith and trust or burn your spirit.

I have spent the majority of my life avoiding desire. If I do not want and if I do not have any expectation of abundance, I cannot be disappointed. I am a master at "getting by". At staying safe.

Have I experienced the amazing generosity of God? Absolutely. How could I ever forget my experience in Spain, and living 100% in faith for every single meal for an entire month, never knowing where our next meal was going to come from? I will never forget how He not only met my physical needs, but also gave me the desires of my heart. I will never forget how He was IN MY FACE, challenging me with, "You cannot possibly even ASK for more than what I am willing to give you." Yet so often I find myself like ground that is so dry that it is unable to absorb the rainfall.

My prayer for myself right now, is that I would become incredible at receiving. In every area of my life. That I would make room for desire and allow God to either wow me in providing, or to help me see the bigger picture in not providing and allow Him to comfort me. I just long for my heart to be such a fertile place.

I have been invited to go to Argentina not once, but twice this year. In July, they are reopening the art school for underprivileged children after having lost their beloved leader in her battle with cancer early this year. I am not sure what my specific role will be. I believe that God wants to use me, though, in ways He has used me before. And I still believe that I am to go on the October trip as well.

Going once was stretching to my faith. Not going to lie. After being home for two years, I do not have my support base as I did before. Going twice? I am having to conquer some big fears of allowing myself to want it, then not being provided for. Of being disappointed. I am going to go for it though, and see what the Lord would do with it. I am going to put myself in a position of vulnerability and see what amazing things He has for me, either in going on both, or in blessing my heart with some greater lesson.

If you would like to help me go, I am going to need to raise about $3000 above what I have already raised. Checks can be made out to City of Grace, with Desteni-Argentina in the memo and sent to:

City of Grace
655 E University Drive
Mesa, AZ 85203
ATTN: Outreach

I have already been incredibly blessed by a handful of people who have already come alongside me. And I am realizing that I am equally as grateful for the words of encouragement that have come in as I am with the financial gifts. So if you want to pray for me and send a word of encouragement, that would be amazing! You can send it to the same address and it will get to me.

In the Journey Together,
Desteni