Friday, August 13, 2010

Deep Breath

Thank you all for your patience in getting this update. It is a soft spot for me even still, but I want to be able to share it with you.

This journey started so long ago for me in my traumatic uprooting from Colombia. These past two years have been (and still are) about healing, growth, and the refining of my calling. God birthed in me a desire to go down with the team to Argentina, and miraculously provided for me to go not once, but twice. As the plane was landing, the song playing in my ipod was "Tu has sido fiel, tu has sido fiel, siempre has sido fiel..." (You have been faithful, You have been faithful, You have always been faithful...).

From the moment we landed, I was just overwhelmed with GRATITUDE that He would have picked me for this experience. That feeling of "who am I, Lord, that You would pick me for this?" It was such a special, intimate thing to be a part of, that I often felt undeserving (in a good way).

Ministry Highlights-

The motive for this trip was to reopen Punchinello. Punchinello is an arts school for children, opened by Vanessa Szczecko three years ago. Amazing woman of God. A couple of years older than me. Just a woman that left imprints on the hearts of every single person she met. And about four months ago, the Lord decided that He couldn't resist having her away from heavenly home any more and brought her home. He healed her cancer permanently. So we went down to be a support to the pastoral family, and to throw the re-opening party. Out of privacy and respect of the family, I am not going to go into detail here and will just focus on my own experience.

I just felt very CONNECTED and honored to be a part of it. I had been praying for the school and over the new leader (also named Vanessa), so it was good to be able to see first hand that the Lord is being faithful to raise up the Joshua (as He had given me to pray), and that He is being faithful to give her the same grace and anointing to lead these children to the "Promised Land".

It was also super fun to involved with kids. Not my full-time calling, but I love to speak/teach for kids. (Pastor Bobby spoke, and I translated both into Spanish...and into children...and I love that!)

Another highlight was speaking at Rivadavia, one of their church plants in an impoverished (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) neighborhood. Months ago, I had an impression that I would speak there. I prayed about it for a couple of months and for the life of me, God would not show me what He wanted me to talk about. Minutes before service started, David asked me if I was going to share or not and it became clear to me. It was to be the first time I would share about my last two years in a public setting, as a form of praise and worship to God for having carried me thus far. I had a woman come up to me after and tell me that she was not from the church, but God told her to go to this service that night. She said that it was exactly what she needed to hear. I walked away from the experience reaaaally missing preaching. I didn't realize it, but man, I am so passionate about sharing about God's character and testifying to His goodness to a captive audience. I hope my roommate likes the new pulpit I've placed outside her bathroom.

The night before we left, I had quite a break down. I felt so...conflicted. I had so much expectation going into it (come on...you don't provide miraculously for me to go down and not have me wondering what You're up to...). I was hoping for writing on the wall. "YES DESTENI, THIS IS WHAT I HAVE FOR YOU! DEPARTURE DATE...MARCH 3, 2011 AT 7:14AM!!!" But that did not happen. I felt like God had opened up all these desires and began to question whether or not He was ever going to have "a place" for me (where American/Latina Desteni gets to be one whole person). So I had a bubble of emotion and doubt swell up in me. And beautiful God, so faithful...I opened my Bible and it landed on the verse "Do not be impatient for the Lord to act. Travel steadily on the path and He will honor you and give you the land." (insert ugly cry). I went to write the verse in my journal, and when I opened to the next page, the quote on top was, "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've always imagined." (ugly cry turned into gymnastic facial contortion).

So to answer the big question on everyone's minds, "Are you thinking about moving down there?" I am traveling steadily on the path. I still have stuff to learn here. And I am praying about it. If you know me at all, you know that I don't make decisions emotionally or do what seems most obvious, just because it is obvious. If God gives me a green light, I think it would be a good fit. I am trying not to prematurely get attached to the idea and have it just be a stepping stone to something else. My job is to be here, now, and finish the process that I began.

I will be there again in a month and a half. I appreciate everyone's prayers. Whatever He is doing, it is good. And I will be ready, and everyone else will be ready, when it is time.

2 comments:

The Durhams said...

AMAZING! I love that you're embracing the whole process, not just the end result of getting somewhere and putting everything else behind you. Love you much and miss you.

Jamie

Unknown said...

PREACH ON Desteni! With your beautiful and genuine heart for serving God (and then mix in your awesome sense of humor every now and then!) I believe you will be an AMAZING preacher/teacher someday! (I'm sure you already are! i've just never seen you preach live "in action").
love you,
Tanya Fisher